When to Oil and When Not to Grease

I was just reading a cool article on Lifehacker about shining your shoes with vegetable oil and it reminded me:



Although it seems like a good idea to use vegetable shortening as a substitute for grease, such as for fixing a sticking sliding door, be really careful if you live somewhere like Texas.



Ants really like Crisco.

Crappy Tech Support is Universal

Speaking of idiotic tech support, a co-worker of mine, Joe*, offered up to me his chat transcript for something he was working on today.

Support Guy: Hello Joe.
Support Guy: Welcome to (large printer company tech support).
Support Guy: May I have your Telephone number starting with the Area Code first please, as we need to update the information in our records.
Joe : xxx-xxx-xxxx
Support Guy: Thank you for the telephone number.
Support Guy: My name is Support Guy, how may I assist you today?
Joe : I'm helping a friend with his (printer).
Joe : He was able to install it and use it OK so far.
Support Guy: Could you please provide me with a detailed description of the issue which would help me assist you better?
Joe : However, each time the computer reboots (he restarts every day for patches, etc.) the printer prints a page. We can't figure out why.
Joe : The text seems like ASCII characters, and it prints during the computer's POST boot.
Support Guy: Are you able to print fine except this test page?
Joe : yep.
Support Guy: Okay let us troubleshoot the issue.
Support Guy: I'll give you some steps.
Support Guy: Click Start------>Run
Type services.msc.
Click OK
A Window will pop up with so many services listed.
Right-click on Print SPOOLER------>Restart.
Joe : done.
Support Guy: Now try printing any document.
Joe : Printed fine.
Support Guy: Good!
Support Guy: Now you have to test once the computer is rebooted , right?
Joe : Well, we have to test AS the computer reboots. The prints are produced during the logo splash screen during POST.
Support Guy: I have a solution for it.
Support Guy: I'll share a web page with you.
Joe : Sweet.
Support Guy: It will appear as popup on your Computer screen, behind your CHAT window.
Support Guy: Did you receive the web page?
Joe : Does it mention cleaning the cartridge contacts?
Support Guy: Yes Exactly1
Support Guy: Please book mark it.
Joe : So dirty cartridges can make the printer actually print when we're not trying to print anything?
Support Guy: Yes Joe.
Support Guy: Please perform the steps provided in the shared web page.
Support Guy: If the issue still persists please get back to us, we would be glad to assist you further.
Joe : OK. Thanks a bunch!
Support Guy: I appreciate your efforts.
Support Guy: You're welcome.
Support Guy: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Joe : That will be all for now. Have a good day.

Now, since that didn't actually fix the issue he had to initiate a new chat. The chat below cuts in after repeating the same stuff as about 6 lines of the previous chat:

Different Support Guy: Will it print fine after that?
Joe : Yep. After Windows comes up and we log in, we can print normally.
Different Support Guy: Okay.
Different Support Guy: Please perform these steps.
Different Support Guy: Please advise me what version of the Windows operating system (i.e 98, ME, XP, Vista) you are using?
Joe : XP
Different Support Guy: Thanks for the information.
Different Support Guy: Click Start------>RUN.
Joe : OK
Different Support Guy: Type as MSCONFIG and click on Ok button.
Different Support Guy: Is it opened configuration window?
Joe : yes
Different Support Guy: Click on Startup tab.
Joe : ok
Different Support Guy: Uncheck all entries in that window and click on Apply and Ok buttons.
Joe : ok
Joe : what next?
Different Support Guy: Now, please close that window.
Joe : ok
Different Support Guy: Restart your computer and check whether the issue will appear or not.
Different Support Guy: However, if the problem persists, you may get back to us. We assure you of our support till we get the problem resolved.
Different Support Guy: We are here to assist you 24/7.
Joe : This issue will reappear. I am not going to restart the computer at this point.
Different Support Guy: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Joe : This problem occurs before Windows loads. How can startup items cause a POST-time print job?
Joe : The first tech had me clean the print cartridges. Please give me a better solution.
Joe : I work in IT, please help me resolve this issue. I do not want to delay this any further.
Different Support Guy: Joe, is it starting printing after rebooting the computer?
Different Support Guy: Or when you shut down the computer?
Joe : On startup only. Right when the splash screen appears.
Different Support Guy: Is the printer directly connected to the computer with USB cable?
Joe : Yes, USB.
Different Support Guy: Please perform these steps.
Different Support Guy: Please click Start------>Control Panel------>Printers and Other Hardware------> Printers and Faxes.
Joe : OK.
Different Support Guy: Now, right click the printer icon and select properties.
Different Support Guy: Click on Advanced tab.
Different Support Guy: Select " Print directly to printer" and click on Apply and Ok buttons.
Different Support Guy: Joe, are you with me?
Joe : This computer is not responding any longer.
Joe : I'll have to try and restart it.
Different Support Guy: Okay.
Joe : Can you give me any other advice to try after changing the "Print directly to printer" option?
Different Support Guy: Please restart your computer and get back to us if the issue still there.
Different Support Guy: Joe, these two options should resolve the issue.
Joe : OK. Thank you for your help.
Different Support Guy: Its my pleasure assisting you.
Different Support Guy: Thank you for contacting (here follows three lines of advertisements)

Now... that didn't fix the issue either. Guess what did?

Joe updated the Bios.


*All names have been changed... of course.

Blogspot for the Win!

Okay... I've thought about it and this blog wins, pretty much hands down.

I figure it's better to blog a lot to no one than rarely to someone. Maybe if I start blogging a lot it won't be to no one for long. Either way, it's cheaper than therapy.

So Not Surprised

About that last form letter... they never did get back with me. Go figure.

Two Blog or Not Two Blog

What to do, what to do. I really like my blog here... but no one reads it. I also have a blog on MySpace, although I don't exactly have a booming readership there, either. I'm able to use ScribeFire to compose my blog here... but it doesn't work on MySpace. I've made a pact with myself to blog once a day on MySpace... but it's going to be hard doing that, much less two blogs. So, what should I do? It would be exceedingly dumb to duplicate the same stuff on two blogs, wouldn't it? I could make one a "work" blog and one a "family" blog, but it's difficult for me to separate the two, sometimes.

 

Just Another Form Letter

So, here is their reply, as promised:

Dear (my name),

We are sorry for the inconvenience that you are experiencing in accessing the website.

We have reviewed your case and forwarding the details to a specialist in this area who can better assist you. Please note that they will be contacting you soon.

Should you have additional questions relating to this issue, feel free to reply to this message so that we may assist you further.

Whatever.

(Non)Technical Support

So, I realized that a site I need to access for school is no longer quite accessible from my new fancy Linux machine. They have plugins that don't install, since they are only for Windows and Mac. I submitted the following via their support form (edited for relevance and privacy):

TYPE OF HELP REQUEST: Plugin issues

Product: SMS

SYSTEM CONFIGURATION: Browser/Version: Firefox

OS: Other

Description of problem: I am no longer able to utilize this website from home, as I no longer have a Microsoft Operating System. I now use Linux (Ubuntu). Is there no way I can get a supported plugin (Firefox)?

I received the following back from them (edited to protect the lame):

Dear (my name),

Thank you for contacting (their name).

We are sorry for the inconvenience that you are experiencing in accessing the website.

After a review of the information provided, we recommended the following

To use our websites, your computer should have one of the 2 following Internet browsers:

INTERNET EXPLORER
Version 4.0 or greater

NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR
Version 4.0 or greater, except versions 6.0 to 7.0

Many websites require that your browser be set to enable cookies. This browser setting is usually turned on by default.

To clear your browser's cookies, click your browser:

Mozilla Firefox 2

1. Open Mozilla Firefox and click on the "Tools" menu.
2. Select "Options" then "Advanced". (top right)
3. Click the "Network" tab.
4. Under the "Cache" heading, click the "Clear Now" button.
5. Click "OK" to exit.

Mozilla Firefox 1.x

1. Open Mozilla Firefox on the "Tools" menu.
2. Select "Options" then the "Privacy" icon.
3. Click "Clear" across from the Cache option.
4. Click "OK" to exit.

To clear your browser's cookies, click your browser:

Mozilla Firefox 2.x

1. In Mozilla Firefox select "Tools" from the file menu.
2. Select "Options".
3. Under the "Private Data" heading, click the "Clear Now button".
4. Click "OK" to exit.

Mozilla Firefox 1.x

1. In Mozilla Firefox select "Tools" from the file menu.
2. Select "Options".
3. Click the "Privacy" icon in the top panel.
4. Click the "Cookies" tab.
5. Check the "Clear Cookies Now" button.
6. Click "OK" to save and close.

If you are using a PC, you may need to clear out your temporary Internet files. Having too many temporary files can block information from being viewed properly.

TO CLEAR OUT YOUR TEMPORARY INTERNET FILES
IN INTERNET EXPLORER

1. Click on Tools, then Internet Options
2. In the Internet Options, click Delete Files
3. Click OK

Note: If you are using Internet Explorer, you may also want to clear your internet history.

1. From the Tools menu on your Internet Explorer browser, click on "Internet Options".
2. From Internet Options click on the "Clear History" button.

IN NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR

1. Click on Edit, then Preferences
2. Click the plus sign next to the Advanced category
3. Click Cache
4. Click Clear Memory Cache
5. Click OK in the message box that appears
6. Click Clear Disk Cache
7. Click OK in the message box that appears
8. Click OK in the Preferences dialog box

Should you have additional questions relating to this issue, feel free to reply to this message so that we may assist you further.

So, I replied back with:

Lovely form e-mail. I especially like how it states "After a review of the information provided, we recommended the following" when it is plainly obvious that no human being (at least of any technical knowledge at all) reviewed my e-mail. The issue isn't with cookies or any such nonsense, it plainly lies in the fact that I'm using a Linux OS, rather than Microsoft or Apple (Macintosh). My original question was "is there any way I can download this software for Linux" and my answer is obviously a resounding "No".

I'll keep you posted on whether they respond back to that one.

Have Laptop, "Wil" Linux

So, I finally did it. I installed Linux on my laptop. I've been wanting to wipe my computer for some time, but I've been a bit scared. After a bit of friendly motivation, I've gone for it. It took me some time to figure out some elements, like how to connect to the internet wirelessly, but for the most part I've got it all figured out. I never would have thought I'd say this, but Linux is a lot of fun!

Requiem for a Dream

It's been nearly a year since I last posted. I'm so bad about updating these things. It's not that I don't have anything to say. I'm just forgetful and lazy.

I've just been messing around the web searching for info on Shannon Leto after having had the second dream about 30 Seconds to Mars in a week. Get your minds out of the gutter, I know the Leto's - especially Shannon - are hot, but they weren't those kind of dreams. In the first dream, the band members rent a house next to mine, and invite me over for a barbecue. I don't remember anything about the second dream, other than in it I was related to one of the members - as in by blood.

See, I'm too lazy to even dream properly.